And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
