its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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