Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
