8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
