Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
