glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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