from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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