More tranny stories later!
I'm passing your future prison.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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