Ketchup is God's man juice
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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