Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
