life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm really busy with my period
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