I heard we made out
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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