I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
