Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize