clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize