I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
