p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
