i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
