i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
