I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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