New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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