its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
