We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
