I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
