Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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