i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
