just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am mentally ready for anal.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
