I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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