I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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