i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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