YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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