the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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