Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
