we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
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Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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