dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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