I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
