I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
