You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
