i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
