Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
