I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it wasn't lemon gatorade
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
so much tequila, so little girl.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
