I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize