Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
