If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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