East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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