dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My penis needs a shock collar
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
