PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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