Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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