please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
