If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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