what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.