He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.