Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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  (602): well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized http://tfl.nu/19cr
  Replies (12) Good night (729) Bad night (1380)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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  (757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!" http://tfl.nu/94sw
  Replies (84) Good night (13554) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

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  (512): just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever. http://tfl.nu/ittj
  Replies (69) Good night (4751) Bad night (908)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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  (651): i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/co7p
  Replies (26) Good night (955) Bad night (5816)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.

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  (856): I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster. http://tfl.nu/w6xc
  Replies (4) Good night (3350) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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  (412): She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan" http://tfl.nu/9he5
  Replies (15) Good night (1209) Bad night (4511)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer

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  (508): He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer http://tfl.nu/btvn
  Replies (5) Good night (900) Bad night (2779)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (3714)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends

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  (309): My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends http://tfl.nu/blvs
  Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.

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  (901): My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume. http://tfl.nu/vvcp
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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  (228): She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics. http://tfl.nu/kvtj
  Replies (8) Good night (847) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The second I see you we're shot gunning beers

  (1-315): View more from New York

  It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning

  (315): View more from New York

  And your point is?

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Marry me

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  (315): The second I see you we're shot gunning beers (1-315): It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning (315): And your point is? (1-315): Marry me http://tfl.nu/zcdd
  Replies (2) Good night (1552) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

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  (613): Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived. http://tfl.nu/meie
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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  (785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?

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  (916): So when this rash is gone wanna hang out? http://tfl.nu/osys
  Replies (5) Good night (342) Bad night (949)

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