i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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