Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.

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  (203): glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now. http://tfl.nu/a98r
  Replies (12) Good night (1250) Bad night (715)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (531)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.

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  (847): i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house. (1-847): that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect. http://tfl.nu/7r4g
  Replies (25) Good night (7997) Bad night (936)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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  (402): I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome http://tfl.nu/kwzn
  Replies (13) Good night (6019) Bad night (913)
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  (716): View more from New York

  kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year

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  (716): kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year http://tfl.nu/qbpm
  Replies (20) Good night (5255) Bad night (1167)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?

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  (360): Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/1n7v
  Replies (14) Good night (4009) Bad night (799)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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  (604): He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face. http://tfl.nu/1cal
  Replies (11) Good night (2837) Bad night (1299)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

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  (662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (2085)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time

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  (773): You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING (1-773): Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time http://tfl.nu/yjp9
  Replies (7) Good night (2429) Bad night (567)
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  (718): View more from New York

  If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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  (718): If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go http://tfl.nu/k79y
  Replies (9) Good night (1625) Bad night (618)
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  (209): View more from California

  He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.

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  (209): He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding. http://tfl.nu/0fze
  Replies (7) Good night (488) Bad night (969)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.

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  (404): Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/r7qw
  Replies (10) Good night (2100) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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  (937): The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night... http://tfl.nu/fmz0
  Replies (4) Good night (1101) Bad night (461)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.

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  (262): You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days. http://tfl.nu/ufco
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (986)
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  (716): View more from New York

  They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.

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  (716): They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them. http://tfl.nu/wksg
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (212)

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