I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.