Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
