I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold