My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
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Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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