Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
