I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I want to fling myself into the sun
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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