took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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