ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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