My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.