I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
