Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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