I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
