Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
