you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
