It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
