i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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