oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
