Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize