and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
