you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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